Attention Control: Don’t always be present - Your mind can time travel, to not use this ability I think is silly!
/By Duncan Anderson. To see all blogs click here.
Reading time: 10 mins
Summary: You can train your brain to have high ‘Attention Control’. Attention Control = Can be present when you want, can think about the past when you want, can think about the future when you want. Being able to be present when one wants, to review the past when one wants and to think about the future when one wants I think is a great asset to enjoying and upgrading life. I don’t think one should be present at all times.
Jingle: You could say, at times, one should be absent from being present ;)!
Should one be ‘present’ all the time?
One characterisation of the modern mindfulful movement is that you should be ‘present’ at all times. By this I think they mean have your attention on the here and now. Enjoy the current moment.
This is an oversimplification: in your mind there is the conscious component and the subconscious component (sometimes referred to as your monkey mind).
I don’t think you want your subconscious throwing in all these thoughts and emotions willy nilly. An out of control subconscious can be a great way to ruin an interaction with a friend, or a business presentation, etc!
I think you want to have high Attention Control AKA high ability to choose how your attention is at any given moment AKA not have your subconscious run amok. Should you be present now? Should you be thinking about the past? Should you be thinking about the future? Should I listen to my subconscious now?
I don’t think you want your subconscious doing whatever it wants whenever it wants. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I think one should be ‘present’ all the time.
What is Attention Control?
This is a concept I got from The Foundations of Mindfulness: How to Cultivate Attention, Good Judgement, and Tranquillity but I’ve modified it a bit.
Here is a MECE of types of attention:
Conscious:
In the present
Reviewing the past past
Considering the future
Subconscious - This is hands off mode, you are just watching your subconscious and seeing what it says. Not trying to make sure your conscious is saying nothing AKA being ‘present’. This is kind of a definition head spin, but listening only do your subconscious and not interacting with it all is IMO being ‘present with your subconscious’.
I think you want to get good at being able to do all types of Attention Control when you want. But also good at listening to your body if it’s trying to tell you something, eg if your subconscious is being particularly stubborn and not being quiet it’s probably worth trying to listen to what it has to say!
*Aside: I think you can cultivate mindstate as well, and Attention Control can be about having the right mindstate for the right circumstance. Eg if someone is having a really rough day and wants to talk the optimal mindstate is likely very different to if you are giving constructive feedback to someone. Effectively, mindstates are different types of being ‘present’. However this branch of ‘presence’ is a topic for another day.
Good attention control vs Bad attention control AKA Good mind time travel vs Bad mind time travel
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Further Detail
I’ve found meditation a core way to build Attention Control
One definition of meditation = Practising Attention Control through concentrating on your breath and thereby letting go of whatever thoughts and emotions are kicking around your head.
One definition of meditation = Getting to calm AKA letting go of all thoughts and emotions AKA being full present
One definition of meditation = Once you have let go of thoughts and emotions you can often realise what you were thinking and feeling. The busier my mind often the lower my self awareness.
A blog I previously wrote on meditation, read if you would like more of my thoughts on meditation.
A complex example of using Mind Time Travel to make an experience better
Let’s say you just had a great experience with a friend. At the end of it you are reflecting saying how you had a great time.
I think you can also say ‘imagine if we did this to improve things next time’. This is thinking about a future time AKA not being present.
To me this can mean you enjoy the activity you just had, and look forward to the future even more because you get do the activity again but better!
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” This can be true, but also, comparing how you can have enjoyed the experience today and can expect to enjoy an upgraded version of it in the future even more is to me: enjoyment today + enjoyment about the future = double enjoyment!
A way to do this badly, today was good but it could have been better. This is taking away enjoyment from today + not adding enjoyment about the future. So this is a downgrade on just being present.
Outcomes
Just present: enjoyment of today = 1 unit of enjoyment from today
Present + Positive view of future having even more enjoyment = 1 unit of enjoyment from today + 1 unit of enjoyment from thinking about the future through positive sum comparison = 2 units of enjoyment
Present + Negative view about today as future could be better = 1 unit of enjoyment from today - 0.5 units of enjoyment through negative sum comparison = 0.5 units of enjoyment
In short, I think mind time travel done well is a way to improve enjoyment and extract learnings from the past. AKA an essential thing one should be doing! The trick is to do mind time travel in the right time in the right way AKA have high Attention Control.
An example: I’ve really enjoyed going to Burning Man, I think I could enjoy it even more if next time I went in an RV instead of yurt. OMG this Burning Man was epic, we get to do this again and have even more epicness next time! Today is pretty awesome, the future can be even better :)!!!!
Example - Jointly being present to reminisce about the past :)
No this is not an oxymoron.
I don't know about you, but a non trivial portion of my chats with mates is reminiscing about past times! Done well you and your mate are both ‘present’ in your reflection / appreciation of a past experience, reminiscing together and getting a unit of enjoyment today from a time in the past where you had enjoyment!
With good Attention Control, I think a unit of enjoyment from the past can provide many units of enjoyment in the future!
Reviewing the past - A key strategy to level up and a key strategy to make past bad time (a unit of unenjoyment) into units of enjoyment
“I’m not proud of all the things I’ve done, but I’m proud of who I am today.”
And if the past is any indicator, some of the things I do today with the benefit of hindsight, I’ll not be proud of in the future.
But this is ok, in fact this is more than ok. One could call this ‘maturing’ or levelling up. To somehow be proud of everything one has ever done is to me, saying one has never learned anything new. With the benefit of new information I change my mind on many things.
“When events change, I change my mind. What do you do?
When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?
When my information changes, I alter my conclusions. What do you do, sir?
When someone persuades me that I am wrong, I change my mind. What do you do?” - Keynes
Trying to do the right thing doesn’t mean that you’ll always do the right thing. Updating what you think is right over time is key to making progress. The only constant is change. To be right often you need to change your mind often.
Being able to mind time travel, to go back in time and review circumstances, to extract happiness from past times, but also learnings from things that didn’t go well, that hurt, that embarrass you, I think is key.
I think you want to be present some times, to relive the past some times, and to think about the future some times.
Analogy of Attention Control to emotional healthy
A blog I wrote a while back: Emotional health is experiencing the full spectrum of emotions in a healthy way, not only feeling ‘positive emotions’
I don’t think you want to experience only good emotions, and not bad emotions. I think you want to experience all emotions in a healthy way.
To me, emotions are signals, you can use them to make better decisions.
Buddhist mantra: I am not my thoughts, I am not my feelings. I am the observer of my thoughts, I am the observer of my feelings.
I am not frustrated, I am experiencing frustration. I am not annoyed, I am experiencing annoyance.
One definition of experiencing emotions in a healthy way: You see experiencing frustration as a signal, you use this signal to figure out how to better navigate a situation and have the frustration stop. You don’t become frustrated and then get in a negative frustration feedback loop with someone! Well I’m frustrated now, well your frustration is making me frustrated, now I’m even more frustrated etc etc.
In a similar vein, I think you want to be ‘present’ in a healthy way. To me this means being present sometimes, but not all the time.
If you only take away one thing
Jingle 2: I recommend giving yourself a present, the present of not needing to feel like you need to be present all the time!
This kinda sounds like a contradiction, but I don't think it is. I think when you choose, you want to be present with the present, present with the past, present with the future and present with your subconscious :)!